Testimonies From Our Friends at
Tamara Phillipi Reich
Sept 11th 2004, the day before my son’s birthday, my children (Jacob 11 yrs old and Elizabeth 10 yrs old ) were taken from me and put into foster care. I was a meth user and had neglected my children. I had been warned by the state a number of times that this might happen. They had visited my home to see how we were living. They shared a room at that time and I was told they were too old for that. I forgot to wake my kids to send them to school and there were times when they wear the same clothes to school that they had warn the day before. My children did have a roof over their heads and were feed everyday 3 times a day. I was the fun mom to them. We listened to loud music, stayed up way to late, drove around (while I was high) visiting friends instead of doing homework. At that time as a (heavy) meth user nothing seemed wrong to me. See you don’t feel or care much when you are high.
When my children were taken I didn’t wake up to smell the coffee right away. I told myself maybe my kids were better off where they were. I’m not good enough mom and I don’t deserve them anyway. It was not until Dec of that year that I stopped using meth and clean date from drugs is actually some time in Jan of 2005. I smoked pot a few times between stopping meth and my actual clean date. The devil kept me in his grasp and I couldn’t shake him. I wasn’t even looking for help until January.
A man I had worked for in the summer of 2004 moved his flea market. With this property came a studio apartment and I told him that I would like to live in it and work for him again for free. I would work as much as he needed me in the day for the rent and find a night job for my other bills. The night time job never happened. I got very sick (withdraws from the drug) and I slept a lot. One morning (about 2 weeks later)I woke up and got in the shower. When I got out and was drying off, I looked at myself for the first time in the full length mirror. I fell to the floor and cried. I was nothing but skin and bones. Later when I weighed myself I was only 95 lbs ( I am 5’4” should weigh around 120). There were red spots all over my face where sores were still healing. I looked bad. Not only do you not see or care on meth you don’t see either. When I had finally decided to stop meth I had been up for about a week without any real sleep and couldn’t have told u the last time I had eaten anything. Later a drug therapist told me he was surprised I was never hospitalized.
After seeing myself like that, even after all the tears the first thing that came to my mind was, I need to get high. I went to my boss and asked for some gas money and he told me to sit and eat first. I don’t remember what we ate or what we talked about but I never got the gas money and I didn’t go and get high. I worked for him some and when he told me I was done for the day I went to my apt and tried to find something to do. I got bored and started looking through my books. I had read them all but one. The Bible. Even though I didn’t feel like I was understanding what I was reading (it was a KJ bible) I read anyway. For a few weeks my days went like this and then another opportunity presented itself to me. I had a chance to go to Denver (2hours from home) to see a old friend. An old meth friend and my dealer. She had gotten into trouble as well and to stay out of jail she had 2 bracelets, one to track her, and the other would go off if she used drugs or drank alcohol. I felt that this may be safe so we talked about the visit. We decided that if it seemed heard for us to be around each other after the past we had together then I would simply come home. Another old friend took me to Denver and I stayed with his family as I couldn’t stay with my girl friend. That friend and I went to 2 to 3 NA (Narcotics Anonymous) meetings a day. And my higher power at that time became my children. I WANTED THEM BACK! That was the only thing her and I did together for 2 weeks and what a help it was for me. At that time I did not see it as God helping me. He had found me but I had not yet found him. It was actually many years later (Dec 2011) that I found God and asked him for forgiveness of my sins.
To end my meth story, I did what I had to do ordered by the court and then some and got my children back. My daughter was returned 10 months after she had been taken and my son 5 months later.
Deep down I felt that God was the reason meth didn’t kill me. I remember saying once he has a better plan for me than I did. But still I didn’t follow Him. I dated a lot of different men. I moved around a lot. I was a lost soul big time. I found an old high school boyfriend and thought he was the one. I thought I would finally settle down and stay in one place. I thought a lot of things on my own at that time.
Then in Dec of 2011 my mom was diagnosed with lung cancer and it was bad. I prayed for the first time in a long long time. I prayed hard every day 3 and 4 times a day. At first I prayed for more time with m y mom. To give the doctors a chance to heal her. About 3 weeks into knowing about the cancer, healing wasn’t what my mom wanted. She gave up. I prayed that He let her see she could feel better if she just got up and moved around and if she ate. Then she was back in a different hospital and any hope we had was gone. She didn’t have long to live. She was starving herself. One day she woke up, looked at me and asked “why is it taking so long?” I don’t think she knew it was me. One time we told her to look out the window at the deer in the field and she called them her angel deer. A week and a half in the hospital mom passed away. In that last week I prayed that he take her softly and peacefully. That she would be in the Lords favor so that we could see her again. She passed while in a coma. I will never forget watching my dad kiss her on her temple and telling her that he loved her. She took her last soft shallow breath after that and she was gone. Right before dad had done that a relative had told me to look out the window. There was one lone deer out in the field looking at the hospital. When mom passed I turned to the window to cry and looked out to find the deer gone. Maybe it means nothing but I will never look at a deer the same way again.
Without saying a word to me about God, mom kind of led me to Him. Sad that it took her passing for me to find Him but that’s what happened. Every day I pray and thank Him for every moment in my life. While I am still new to all this I still feel 100% better about myself. I don’t feel lost anymore. And I know without a doubt my life will continue to get better the closer I get to Him. I still feel the devil trying to pull me back into his world every day. I feel him trying to bet me down. And I have no plans of letting him win. This path with the Lord is rocky and hard but I can feel the light. It is so much better than the road which I was on. That road may have seemed easy but it was dark and lonely.
Thank you Lord for taking me into your heart and seeing the me that I could not see. Thank you for all the blessings you set in this path we walk. And Thank You for giving me the strength to finally type this all out to share with others. Amen
My oldest son has been clean and sober for two years this has been almost a twenty year battle with drugs and alcohol. I can't even put into words the nightmare of it all. The Lord has taken him up, cleaned him up and he is a different person. Such a joy and pleasure to be with. Now has a job, drivers licence and a life. He attends church and faithfully tithes on his income. What a blessing! It did not come easy, much prayer! My younger son is now in battle with alcohol and reached the bottom looking up. God is faithful, to those who have known my son, they know only God could have done this, he alone is glorified. Thank you, Lord!
I was a coke addict. I did coke for about 15 years. Went to Sanca, Horizon Clinic, + for deliverance prayer. Nothing helped me. But God through The Bible, showed me how to get + stay drug free. I have been drug free for 13 years now. So don't loose hope. God is good
I am in Recovery an its awesome an a Blessing from God so Grateful to be alive ya all r in My prayers plz Keep me in Prayer too Ty an God bless you